


Codependency

by Verse



Category: Digimon Adventure, Digimon Adventure Zero Two | Digimon Adventure 02, Digimon Adventure tri.
Genre: Ambiguous Relationships, F/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Relationship Study
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-11
Updated: 2018-06-11
Packaged: 2019-05-20 23:29:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14904243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Verse/pseuds/Verse
Summary: co.de.pen.den.cy (kəʊdɪˈpɛnd(ə)nsi), noun:excessive emotional or psychological reliance on a partner, typically one with an illness or addiction who requires support.Or: Takeru and Hikari do not toe the line between friendship and romance. They sit on it and settle there.





	Codependency

“Do you want to date me?”

The question catches Hikari off guard, and her answer tumbles out of her mouth before she has the time to think it through.

“No.”

It’s clear and concise and she wants to take it back, but she can’t- because she means it.

It's not that she doesn't love Takeru- because she does, good lord she does. It's love, even if she's not _in_  love- she doesn't think. It's not butterflies and burning heat; it's trust and gentle warmth. It's ice cream and home. It's _I am here._

She loves him, there are no doubts of that. She loves him, to death and insanity- because god knows he's kept her from the former and accepted her despite the lesser.

It’s not _dating_  Takeru, that scares her- what difference would it make, to their existing relationship? Hanging out isn’t so much different to dating, in her experience- what's a movie night to them, what's a dinner out? Just because they didn't touch in public didn't make their outings any less _fun_.

And they’re no stranger to fooling around together, either- when neither is dating, when they both get needy. It's a casual thing for them. Friends helping friends out. Friends showing affection to friends. He'd been her first everything- first kiss, first touch, first person to wake up curled next to after a long night. She had trusted him, and he had trusted her, and when she'd said "just to try" he had _understood_.

No- what terrifies her, is the breakup.

Everything ends. Even gods, even stars. She’s been through her fair share of relationships, now. She knows how it goes; the closer they are prior to ending things, the harder it hits- even with those willing to work through this, there is this awkward distance between her and them.

Oh, Takeru had already seen her raw before- raw bones and raw soul, screaming at shadows in her dreams. She's seen him, too. She knows at least this, this won't scare him off.

But things end, everytime, always

She can deal with the distance, with her exes. That’s a risk she accepts to take when she goes out with them.

But not with Takeru. Never Takeru.

She can't lose him. She _won't_  lose him.

Takeru, who lets out a deep sigh, rests his forehead on her shoulder- and mutters “thanks god.”

Oh.

She should have realized earlier, that he would get it.

How could he not? He’s seen firsthand his parents become complete strangers. If not for their kids, there are no doubts that they would completely cut ties with each other.

Hikari tries, to imagine her life without her most important friend- without her anchor, her last tie to sanity. She can’t. She wants to say she’d be able to function like a regular human being- but she _can’t_.

(Because really,  _when_  had she ever been? She's good at pretending. That doesn't mean she _f_ _i_ _ts_  among humans anymore.)

And she knows, she knows, it’s the same for him. Takeru, sweet Takeru, her Takeru. Gentle and kind and hopeful- merciless and burning and oh so _angry_. Takeru, with scars no his knuckles and scars in his heart, but still offering his calloused hands to her tainted soul.

They have been together for so long, leaning on each other for so long, through giggling clowns and holy angels and dark seas- they've been holding each other whole from so long, broken and twisted and monstrous as they are- if they ever split apart so violently, it would break her. If they ever split apart so violently, it would destroy him.

(“Codependency” Jyou told them a while back. He had a sad look on his face at the time, as if he was telling them they were affected by an incurable disease. Which they are, she guesses; it's not one either of them have the intention to fix. He probably knew already, that this arrangement, unhealthy as it could be, is the lesser of two evils; it could have been alcohol, or anger, or depression. They chose each other.)

"So. Cake and chill?"

He smiles up at her. Takeru is not in love with Hikari. But there is _love_ , deep and running, even if words fail to describe who they are.

"I would like that a lot, yes."

**Author's Note:**

> I have Headcanons about these two don'T ToUcH mE
> 
> Anyway the tumblr's versegm y'all


End file.
